boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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