I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
