i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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