Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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