he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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