so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
It's just like the Real World with babies
her facebook's as public as her vagina
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
