i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
