something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
