Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
