I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize