honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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