I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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