I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sorry about my life...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
