That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
only if we run a train.
done.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
