I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
