don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
