Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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