i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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