I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
