I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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