How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize