He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I wear drunk well.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
