Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
