After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
