Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The ass gains better be worth it
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
