Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
