did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
