tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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