Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize