Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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