So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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