What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
