I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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