i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
