D3 body, D1 cock
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
