Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
