Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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