From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
