is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
