Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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