I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
