im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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