I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
