I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
