He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
