Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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