If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
