There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
