You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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