After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
