yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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