You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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