Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it wasn't lemon gatorade
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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