We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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