is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
