Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
