i barfeds in our rink
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
